A Very Fairy Conversation

There have been clouds for days and I'm getting a sunburn. I haven't left my apartment for almost a month, but my skin keeps getting redder and redder and soon I'll be burnt to a crisp. I already look like I've been spinning on a rotisserie.


My aunt came over to change my sheets and scrub the toilet. She noticed the burn.



What are you putting on your skin?

Nothing. I haven't put anything on my skin.

Are you sure? Your skin is looking red all over- look at your arms.

I'm getting a sunburn.

That's impossible. You don't leave your apartment.

I haven't left in a while.

You must be having an allergic reaction to something.

No, I don't have allergies.

Well what else could it be?

The sun is wearing some sort of invisibility cloak and creeping into my apartment.

Don't talk like that. Don't talk crazy talk, you sound just like your father.


So I rolled up my sleeves to show her the tan line. She put the bottle of toilet duck on the kitchen table and pulled out a smoke from the pocket of her apron. Lit up, took a long haggish drag and came over for a better look.


It does look like a sunburn. Huh...What the heck?!

I think it's the new dog next door.

What does that mean?

It was rescued from Mexico and it brought the Mexican sun with it. It was a mutt. The sun must have hitched a ride on its back and put on an invisibility cloak so it could sneak through customs.

I don't know, that doesn't sound very plausible.




Some things don't sound plausible because they aren't plausible. But they're true. Fuck off if you don't believe me.